Why teachers have heart conditions

So as a healthy adult, I've made my first trip to the cardiologist for chest pains. Two days and hundreds of dollars later, I found out, through the wisdom of someone who attended medical school for years and years, that I have stress.

Really?

He determined that I have sleep apnea and daily stress. I was then asked what caused my daily stress. Let's see:

Could it have anything to do with 9th and 10th grade questions like--

"You mean Romeo and Juliet isn't taking place in Texas?"
"Should we write this down?"
"You just said we had a test coming up; you didn't say we had to study for it..."
"Do we go to school during Spring Break?"
"If we don't pass TAKS, do we have to go back to 8th grade?"


Gee....

So anyway, I am now told I have to start walking long distance and wearing an oxygen mask contraption to bed. Wow. I'll just buy me some old-fashioned curlers and be a beauty at night now, won't I? I was also told to "avoid stressful situations". OK. Sure. Thank you, Sir, for attending college all that time to come up with such a revelation as that. I should have left his office feeling enlightened, but I just felt like saying "duh"...

On an opposite and unrelated note, I am currently working on a serial killer novel. I have no idea where I get the inspiration...